Tatiana and Jezebel decided they needed a makeover, they were feeling a little drab in last year’s fashions and it has to be said, the wind and rain had taken their toll on their décolletage.

Where to go for a new outfit? Luckily a tractor passing through Minsteracres was headed for Corbridge. They hitched a ride, much to the alarm of the burly driver who had hardly expected to see two women in such deshabille leap onto his trailer that morning. But what could he do? The one with black hair gave him such a withering look, he daren’t object.

It was quiet in Corbridge, pausing outside Nora James they drooled over a hessian and taffeta ensemble. ‘But just look at those prices’, they cried. ‘Do you think the assistants would barter for a sack of leeks and a cabbage or two?’ Oh no!

Moving on, our delightful scarecrows noticed a hairdresser’s shop. ‘I would love a new hairstyle’,said Tatiana, ‘I am so tired of these tresses, I feel so passé darling!’

The hairdresser was very friendly and was happy to accept a boil and pustule potion, one of Jezebels’ finest, in exchange for her ministrations. A short while later Tatiana emerged with a mane of colourful, hair extensions. Wow, they hang down her back in abundant coils, like snakes that writhe to music.

Jezebel was jealous, but she had her eye on something more for Tatiana’s transformation. Whilst waiting outside the hairdresser’s she had taken a little stroll around the local houses. She noticed a singular garden. ‘Well, people in Corbridge are sooooo generous’, she cooed as she and Tatiana climbed the wall and helped themselves to the fluttering offerings on a clothes line. ‘Some kind soul has left out some magnificent clothes’. Tatiana left a thank you gift of a braided holly and ivy wreath and Jezebel a little clutch of pheasant eggs.

Later the baffled householder reported the loss to the police who said they didn’t have time to investigate but ‘why not make a nice omelette and hang the wreath over the front door?’

Tatiana now sports a beautiful golden dress with shimmering embroidery and a red headscarf pinning her beautiful locks. She said she would make do with her painted skirt from last year, she loves it so much. But she did dip it in the pond for a quick wash in the frogspawn. Jezebel cannot wait for her turn to go shopping.

The same tractor driver appeared on the road home and was easily convinced he must take the scarecrows on the return journey. Tatiana is now so captivating, what a beauteous creature, how could he refuse? He did not demur especially when Jezebel waved her pitchfork under his nose and shouted ‘Home my good man!’